Sometimes, it’s not what’s denied that matters — it’s how casually the denial is made.

This week, I sent a polite message to Dr. Torres asking for a small travel accommodation — four extra doses of oxycodone, enough to manage the pain of two 12-hour international flights. I explained that my previous doctor, Dr. Curole, had consistently approved early refills for years, effectively giving me 12 extra doses per month to help with breakthrough pain. There was never a single issue.

Dr. Torres declined the request, stating that she doesn’t prescribe extra medication for travel and is concerned about changes in medication while I’m abroad. She added that there were ‘no new recommendations’ from the pain pharmacy team and suggested I pursue an external pain clinic instead.

Let’s break that down. I wasn’t asking for a major change — just enough relief to avoid a flare during a once-in-a-lifetime trip with my family. And I was asking based on a history of documented, stable use with no incidents. That’s not a red flag — that’s good medical history.

The issue here isn’t that Dr. Torres said no. It’s that there’s now a repeated pattern at UC Davis Health: no one will touch my care, even when the request is medically sound. Everyone points the finger elsewhere. Torres points to pharmacy. Pharmacy points to policy. Policy points to risk. And all the while, my care remains frozen.

So yes — she has the right to say no. But when you say no to a patient who’s done everything right, and you do it out of fear rather than clinical judgment, you’re not protecting anyone. You’re just perpetuating harm.

This blog exists to document these moments — so that others can see what systemic pain care failure looks like. Because when the answer is always ‘no,’ it’s time to ask: who gets to say ‘yes’?